First Work Night

My food choices have always been surrounded by emotions. I eat when I'm
sad, happy, confused, angry, lonely, etc. Over the years some of those
urges I've been able to control. Most times it manifests into "eating
just because I can" so I over eat, eat when I'm not really hungry or I
eat too much at one time. Sometimes I'm bored, but often times I have
found myself thinking that I deserve (the cake, cookies, extra serving,
etc.) this. Like a reward for living this long or not being destructive
in other ways. Sadly enough food is a weapon just like alcohol, drugs,
gun or knife.

Whereas I wouldn't dare take a gun, knife or drugs to harm myself, I
never looked at food as a form of endangerment. I've been using food as a
numbing agent like a drug. That ended this week. Food will be only used
for sustaining my vital organs.It will be used in portions and logic. I will eat what I need and focus on my future health and happiness. I have real goals, not poofy ones that I've always had in the past (fit into jeans that I wore in H.S.), but ones that are more realistic for me.

Skydiving is a dream of mine. Yesterday a dear friend who is a skydiving instructor promised to get me up in the air when I'm ready and have attained my goal! I am so thrilled! I also am looking forward to riding the Cheetah coaster at Busch Gardens (the girls won't fit in most over-the-head locking mechanisms). So for me, those are static goals.

Tonight is my fist night of work with my new plan. I have my meals all ready to go. I washed all the fruit, cut up what I needed to and have confidence that meal time at work won't be a problem. It does help that they no longer serve food at night (left us with vending machines instead of real food) so I won't be tempted to buy that awesome macaroni and cheese (it was so creamy).

Onward and Upward!!!